The Path to Unconditional Self-Love

“Owning our story and loving ourselves through that process is the bravest thing that we’ll ever do.” –Brené Brown

As we near the end of the year and enter what can be a stressful time, I feel inspired to share a message of self-love with you. I mean the unconditional kind of self-love, not the one where you have to weigh a certain amount, accomplish a list of goals and deliver the perfect holiday experience for everyone. Unconditional self-love is spirit based which has nothing to do with the ego. It is pure love which is the highest frequency of energy.

The path to unconditional love, as with everything else, begins with self-awareness. So much of the hurt and suffering we endure starts with believing our own thoughts. When you detach yourself from the narrative playing in your mind, you can truly begin to embrace a different perspective – one that invites more love & compassion towards yourself.

Self-love builds with every thought and action you choose that honours YOU. Here are 7 ways to practice self-love:
Invite compassion – Continually practice asking yourself “what do I need in this moment?”. Listen and pay attention to what shows up. The RAIN concept of compassion taught by Tara Brach is also a powerful tool. You can read my post dedicated to it on my blog.

Set boundaries Begin to recognize the situations and people that give you energy, versus drain your energy. Learning to say ‘no’ is one of the greatest acts of self-love you can do for yourself.

Forgive yourselfThis is big. It can be very eye opening to notice the amount of guilt and shame that we often carry with us without quite realizing. One of the greatest skills we can learn is to reframe our mistakes into lessons and to move on. Otherwise, we hold onto these powerful negative emotions. When they show up, give yourself the space to be with them and then ask yourself: “How can I love myself in this moment?”.

Forgive othersThe same goes with forgiving others. Forgiveness is not about the other person, it’s about freeing yourself from the burden of anger and resentment. It truly is a gift you are giving yourself.

Accept yourself fully just as you are –  This means being willing to let go of where you thought you should be and simply accept this is where you are now. Let go of the attachment to a vision you had for yourself and your relationships. The willingness to be with what is releases tension within yourself and frees you to invite more of what you want into your life.

Nourish your mind, body & soulChoose healthy foods that fuel your body not because you “have to or should” but as an act of self-love. Same goes with moving your body, meditation and other rituals that serve you. Bring the intention of love into all these moments so that self-love becomes a way of being.

Be your own friend What would you do if your friend was constantly hurting herself and judging herself? You would probably sit down with her and see if you could help her remove the tools she was using to hurt herself in the first place. You would probably follow that with a giant hug and a reminder of how beautiful and perfect she was. Be that friend for yourself.

Above all else, what I have found the most helpful on my own personal journey has been to deepen my spiritual connection. The stronger that connection is, the more I find myself choosing love.

Sending you much love this holiday season my friends. Stay calm & healthy. And as always remember to breathe…

xo